Even at your worst, I love you, and you should know that.

I am a passionate person. I have very strong opinions about things and I often try to be as open to other’s points of view as possible. But sometimes I find myself in situations, whether it be related to my family, friends, husband where the conversation escalades to a full blown argument. I actively participate in the argument as I have no problem with confrontation. Now the odd thing about me is that I can’t hold a grudge.
In my life I have always thought that grudge holding was a colossal waste of our finite time on this earth.

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The way I see things is this:
Everyone has a an opinion that they have crafted as a result of many factors that don’t necessary have anything to do with me. So when I don’t agree with a particular opinion, I state my opinion, attempt the make the other person see things the way I do.

Sometimes it works – sometimes it doesn’t. This is when I either get indifferent or upset. But when I get upset, I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness towards that person. Then I can’t bear to be mad anymore. It just takes so much effort to be mad at someone you love. It could be my mom, my sister, my hubzter, my best friends, it does not matter.

I just feel so much love for them that any anger or sadness they cause me pales in comparison. So I do what I’ve always done.

Get over it. I tell myself:

Every minute you are angry at a loved one is a minute less you have with them.

And when I think about it, it’s just not worth it. So I move on.
Sometimes I feel like the people around me know this about me and unknowingly take advantage of it. They often joke around that I can never be mad at anyone for more than two minutes. Some also hold out on apologizing to me because they know I will forget about it in a little bit.

Is that fair to me? Is this how it’s going to be forever? I mean is that not a little inconsiderate that you can just hold out and wait for me to make up? What about them reflecting on what they have done, what they have said? I guess it’s my fault for giving in, I don’t know.

What I am trying to say, I guess, is that life is way too short, and grudges, tiffs, fights all suck. So let them go. And If you are the passive aggressive type, realize that you aren’t doing your friend a favour when you let them “simmer down and forget about it” because you refuse to give them the closure they would really appreciate.

I think for me personally, I like the fact that I don’t like holding on to negative energy, it takes the stress out of acting like you don’t care. Because I do. Even at your worst, I love you, and you should know that.

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