I used to think that to begin something new. It needed to be January, or Monday, or first thing in the morning. I am without fail full of ideas of new projects I want to do. Things I want to start and then I follow those thoughts with, I’m going to start in the new year, next week, in the morning. Why you ask? Because I essentially feel – not ready.
I have been toying with the idea of a monthly digest, a recap and reflections piece. But the thought of regular blog updates terrified me.
- What if I don’t have enough to say?
- What if it’s not interesting?
- What if it looks like I am trying too hard?
- What if I miss a month?
FML. SO MUCH DOUBT!
But why though?
Well, if I am being honest – I just don’t want to commit. But that stops now. So here goes, my monthly digest – started mid year. Because, why not?
My motherhood celebrated its fourth anniversary. In many ways, I feel like a pro. I am proud to say that little Azu is taking well to the training we have started him on toward getting ready for school. This month marks the month that he is sleeping in his own room. A few weeks shy of his fourth birthday, and I was given this gift. He understands that we are still just a few meters away and that our door is always open. The first full night of uninterrupted sleep felt like a right of passage. I did it. I woke up feeling like a brand new woman. He is starting to feed himself full meals without parental involvement. This is huge, because we have always fed him ourselves to ensure that he eats all of his food, in a controlled and neat fashion. I realize now that I should have started this before, but better late than never I guess. We are still working on speed of consumption because boy does it ever take him absolutely forever to finish his little bowl of pasta. By this rate, he can make me macaroni necklaces using his leftovers in JK. A mom win will have to be the fact that he is fully independent when going to the bathroom. I cannot tell you the anxiety I feel when I think of the public school washrooms he is expected to use. Anyway, We still have a month to perfect his technique.
We celebrated our eighth year together as a married couple this month. We have slipped into a comfortable silence in our daily existence. Our days are busy. A myriad of commitments, obligations and responsibilities take up a sizable chunk of our day. Add to that the need to spend time with our son, leaves very little time for us. However I have found joy in doing nothing with him. Just sit in each other’s presence. More recently though, he is finally opening up. Something that’s new, because he only answers questions. He never volunteers any information. Lately, he is making an effort to be open and say things he would have thought hold little value or relevance to me. But he is finally realizing that nothing he says is irrelevant to me, because I’m always open to listen. I feel like even after eight years of marriage, we are still working every day to communicate better.
Of A Working Mom
It’s hard to be a mother while working full time, running a blog, and doing a side hustle or two. I feel like I am stretched thin. However, if you ask me to choose, that would be like picking a favorite child. I find that because of my passion toward all three avenues, I need to find a system. A plan to attack each facet of my life. I want to engage my readers on instagram and the blog in a way that comes from a place of service. I want to be able to attract more people toward the ghee shoppe and I want to be able to curate unique events for a few special people along the way. I always thought the best way to learn is by doing. But this month I also learned the importance of having faith in my ideas to invest resources back into them to help them flourish. I think it takes a while and frankly hurts; to come around to the idea that you should take the money you’ve made and dump it back into the hustle. However, I had a breakthrough that helped me understand the importance of that very concept. I have enrolled in a couple of programs to help me run more effective businesses and initiatives. Fingers crossed – it’s worth the cash money.
Of Life Celebrations
This month is the busiest month of the year for our family. What with anniversaries (ours, my parents’ and my sister’s) and birthdays (my son and husband). I have dubbed July “Debt Month”. Each July is overflowing with so much joy and the need to commemorate all these milestones. As I am getting older, I am realizing that I am happy to just acknowledge these special days in a smaller more meaningful way, rather than a hoopla and show that goes along with a physical party. I know, I am as shocked as you are. I just think that life celebrations can also mean that you treat the other person or yourself (read: birthday) special. Don’t worry, before you ask who I am and where is the Farah you know who loved throwing a party, she’s still there. Hello, my kid still deserves a good run of parties! Like the one I threw for his fourth birthday this month.
Of A Little Real Talk
This month, I came to some solid realizations about life. In short, I realized that my self confidence is an armour of mine that I have unconsciously been sharpening. I am learning a lot about being intentional in my words, actions and way of life. I am putting myself first in many ways. I am done with worrying about the feelings of people who feel like they have to take advantage of me. I am far better at managing my own personal demons. I am challenging myself to do things for myself and not feeling guilty about all the other relationships I have in my stratusphere. I am also realizing that it’s totally okay to do that and that I really should have started to do it sooner.
Of Current Favorites
Fast Food / Restaurant:
A&W Beyond Meat Burger
As much as I wish that local fast food chains would carry halal meat options, the consolation prize is so yummy. The Beyond Meat burger from A&W takes the cake, or rather beef. It’s so close to the real thing you often don’t even miss it. I have on more than one occasion found myself at the A&W drive thru instead of the halal food drive thru.
If you are in the market for Mandi or Yemeni food, look no further if you live in the west, of the GTA. Located in Mississauga, they have a really uniquely designed restaurant where I found the most flavourful Mandi I have ever had. The rice to meat ratio is perfect and the lamb mandi is actually bomb. The only drawback is that the service staff is sparse so you end up having to take your plate up, instead of a server coming by to clean between dinner and dessert. I really am looking forward to going back with my family really soon.
Of What’s to Come
Next month is exciting! It is the last month ever that Azan is a free agent! I will be spending as much time with him as possible before he begins school. My goal is to ensure that he knows just how proud I am of being his ammu while he’s still mine. We are going to a cottage with a group of friends with kids. We’ve had this group for the last 4 years and it’s always fun to see the minis have fun together. As the summer winds down, I want to be more present and really work on being more confident in my thoughts and expressing myself. And lastly, I want to give love to my blog and continue the therapy that writing has been for me.
Thank you so much for spending some time reading. Please leave me a comment about what you thought of this blog post as I want to make it a reoccurring role on the blog.