What an eventful month it has been. With Eid ul Adha springing up out of nowhere, to the extra time I was given to spend with my son, to the uphill battle of real sadness, and the joy of making pure and simple advances in self care, I can honestly say August has been a rollercoaster of real emotions. But that’s okay. I welcome it all. This is a huge change for me. I have really started to come into my own lately. Which is a relief, because not feeling comfortable in my own skin was becoming comfortable – how scary is that thought?
In August, I had the opportunity to spend some extra time with my baby as he got ready for school. School prep has literally taken over my life. I am not a routines girl and here I am trying to teach and enforce routine on a four year old who understands too much and will call me out for not practicing what I preach. So there was that. We established what school would be like, we read books about getting ready for long days without a familiar face. I spent a lot of time just being grateful to even reach this milestone in one piece. I think as a mother, I pride myself on raising an independent little boy, but the dichotomy of the situation is that I don’t want to admit to myself that I am getting him ready to “not need me”. LogicalFarah says, he will always need you. MomFarah says, there you go… he’s never going to be yours again.
Can we meet in the middle Farahs?
RealFarah says, I am preparing him with all the tools necessary to equipe him to be self sufficient while he is at school. Because he is away at school with no chance to reach out to me, chances are the moments I will get to spend with my babaCakes will be that much more special and full of gratitude.
Marriage is always work. August has been a month of coastal bliss. Nothing staggeringly challenging happened, Thank God. I would say some old scenarios popped up and didn’t really phase us, because, well it’s happened before and we had been in similar situations before and knew what not to do this time, leading to more nights spent together doing nothing, but everything. Some small realizations we had were that it never hurts to remember to be nice to each other. It’s never a less manly thing to show you love your wife the way you did when you dated. It’s also very okay to relinquish control and leave some things to your spouse to do his/her way, even if you would do it differently.
Of A Working Mom
Having a full time job, working freelance in event planning and trying to run a product business has made me really self conscious. How can I give all three of my professional babies their due attention? Am I showing up for all three? Is that even a logical thing for me to expect? Well the reality is that it can’t always happen. But I am learning each day. Setting priorities is allowing me to show up for my projects and business. But in all honesty, the thing I learned is that multitasking may be great, but being present is essential. This means that I need to show up for my projects and set a time limit and focus entirely on that one facet. By focussing completely, I can assure myself that I output quality. I got it done, and I did it to my standard.
This summer has been chalk full of birthdays and weddings, so we have been giving a lot of time to those events. So when we got a chance to unplug ourselves for a weekend, you bet your last penny, I was going to take it. The cottage we booked as a group of 17 was HUGE, nestled atop a hill with backyard access to the river, it was absolutely stunning! This year we had 4 kids in the mix and it was ridiculously fun. The parents in the group would collect the kids after a full day of running around and like a united front would feed and get them off to bed. After bedtime, the adults stayed up way longer than we should have to just have the best time. On our last night, there was a bonfire and I remember just letting myself enjoy it without a care in the world. Also, having super spotty wifi, helped us detox from our phones, so there is that win!
Of A Little Real Talk
This month was without a lack of a better way to explain it, emotionally exhausting. The world is hurting, our muslim brothers and sisters are hurting. There is just so much on the outside to absorb. As a mother, world issues really make you question your beliefs and value systems. It’s hard to stay neutral, because I feel like a mamabear and have to fight for the planet that will be the future for my son. But I also realize I can’t do that. What I have the ability to do is influence his growing mind. Work from the inside out. But that’s a lot of pressure on my mind. Then further bad news, closer to home had me questioning, am I prepared for a life on my own (God Forbid) if something were to happen to my nearest and dearest? Would I be able to go on without my partner? It brought on a level of respect for those that lead lives, shouldering all the responsibilities of a coupled relationship to one where they are shouldering all of it on their own. My heart hurts for them. But I also can only feel a sense of inspiration, because they have to be the strongest. To pull themselves out of a hole and to thrive despite their whole life just collapsing. It really makes you feel so much gratitude for what you have in your life.
Of Current Favorites
Eid Ul Adha was celebrated this year in a really mainstream fashion. I attended the Eid ul Adha Market organised by Muslim Market Co at Square One. What a treat! The event was super classy and lux. Having our Eids be represented at a mainstream mall exemplifies how far we’ve come. We no longer have to go to a school gym with folding tables and haggle for our new clothes. There is so much variety and diversity in what was showcased at the Eid Market. I really do hope it’s an annual event, one which my son will attend with me even during his “it’s not cool to hang with mom” phase.
Of What’s to Come
September Will be the beginning of the next chapter of my life. I will have a school going child! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? Expect tons of ups and downs, bento box ideas, mom guilt, tantrums, school adjustment issues and so much more. Also expect more doses of real talk and honesty. Next month I’m planning some fun school related content to celebrate this new facet of my life (bento lunch maker). I really hope you’ll come along for the ride.
Thank you so much for reading.