You know when you wake up one day and feel a sinking pit in your tummy? Like, hello… you are supposed to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. Well that’s the thing, sometimes, for people that suffer from depression, this funk can come and go in waves.
I used to be a very positive person with a sunny disposition, I was chatty and inquisitive and generally a loud rambunctious person. But as I grew older, I had a child and experienced postpartum depression which morphed into mild general depression.
This means that I experience days where I go through a bouts of what I would call a sad funk. I have considered taking antidepressants on many occasions, but first I want to try managing it on my own.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a pill, but this is my journey. And in my journey, it is important to me to reach deep inside myself and try my best to work through my emotions.
One way I do this is by talking about it. In the last little bit, it has been a kind of therapy to talk about my experience. It’s been humbling to see the outpouring of love and encouragement that my story has brought into my life. So I made a decision, after a weekend of basically just trying to stay afloat on this emotional whirlpool, I was going to practice self love; unabashedly and I wasn’t going to apologize for it. Here are five simple ways I practiced self love in one day.
1. Acknowledge My Emotions
I honoured my pain by acknowledging that it is here today. I realized that I am one of the few blessed souls that has to host these emotions periodically. You see, we all carry what I would like to call an “emotional backpack” and sometimes we carry a larger emotional load than what we can reasonably manage. For some people, it can mean they need a distraction, they need to be cheered up, they need chocolate.
For me, carrying an excessive load in my emotional backpack can mean that it takes a toll on the way I outwardly behave, how productive/unproductive I am, how I treat others, and last but not least, how I treat myself.
I showed myself self love by acknowledging first and foremost that today was not a good day, and that I would have to put in the extra effort to just make it through the day doing just the bare minimum. Giving myself the permission to take the pressure off of accomplishing a mother’s ever-running list of to do’s, I gave myself grace to feel a slight bit of peace. The to-do list never goes away, but today is not the day I will tick off that list… and I know that I will get to it, tomorrow.
2. Say some affirmations
When you were a kid, remember when your gym teacher or coach would give your team a pep talk before letting you out into the field? Affirmations is the big-girl version of this. I didn’t used to believe that affirmations -actually- work, but hear me out. They really do. But you have to really give yourself up to them. I find that when I say them first thing in the morning, I find that I feel like I’ve given myself a tiny boost.
I strongly believe that if you hear something enough, you begin to believe it. This is particularly true for me. I mean if we can engage in negative self talk, then by that same token, I think we can engage in positive self talk. The idea is the same, but we are taking the power out of the negativity and putting power into uplifting ourselves. Say it after me: You are strong, you are capable, you are worthy. I say it about 10 times every day and when I am at the height of my anxiety it really becomes like a mantra that helps me calm down.
3. Do something that brings you joy
Ever since I was a teenager, I don’t know why I felt at peace just window shopping. I would go to Indigo and sift through countless books. I would hardly buy anything, I would just get lost in the pages. More recently, I have found a new joy in plants. I created a balcony garden and spending time surrounded by green has done wonders for my mood. I find myself wanting to go to nurseries and greenhouses instead of other shops. For me, taking time out each day to spend on your own, with something that brings you joy is essential. I realized that when I was making my lists, scheduling my day out, I didn’t ever schedule anything out for me to feel joy. So daily I make it a point to take even 30 minutes to spend with my garden/ at the bookstore/sitting with a coffee and just letting my mind wander, my heart be inspired, and give my soul a bit of peace.
4. Create something
In my mind, there is no better way to experience a sense of release than to use your creativity and let your soul take over. For me, that could be writing, which I find to be incredibly freeing. I also enjoy the act of gardening and tending to my small family of green babies. And last but not least, making something that I will later gift to someone special.
I know that I have always enjoyed writing, so it doesn’t surprise me that I find so much release in it. However, in this time when we have had to spend a lot more time indoors, I have taken to plants like I had never before. In fact I thought I would be a plant murderer but the simple fact that I have been able to keep my plants alive has become a positive association. And the last thing is, I find incredible peace in creating something for someone else. I find that it gives me the gratification of service, and to me that is such a “cup-filler” if you know what I mean.
5. Digital Detox
When I am feeling an all time low, I find that taking a day off of my devices does wonders. I think when you have an online presence, people feel that they have access to you at all times. And if you enjoy social media, you often find yourself at the beck and call of the DMs, the emails, the comments, the sharing and liking.
I find that making a conscious effort to remove myself from that responsibility for a short time helps me come back with more energy, feeling more refreshed then before. For me, its extremely difficult to pretend that everything is okay for social media when it is clearly not. So, usually I will excuse myself from inauthentic posting and just take that energy and give it a rest. If it helps you to do that as well, I think it is essential to help maintain your sanity in the world where an online presence is such a part of a lot of our lives.
Although these tips may not work for every one, I know that these things have repeatedly given me relief during some very difficult days. It is my hope that it will help you in the same way.
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