Dear Newlyweds,
Congratulations on stepping into this most sacred bond together. We know it’s been a long wait to get to this point. All the dreams, all the hopes that you have strung together coming to a head.
The wedding day. Your happily ever after.
We know you are on a high right now, basking in your glowing hearts, your giddy laughter and all that comes with getting married. It is indeed most special. We enjoyed every moment of our big day. And all the little moments that led up to the big day.
We are now ten beautiful years in and let us tell you, happily ever after is just the very beginning. We once believed that all the hardships we went through to establish our relationship, nurture our love, protect our dreams would culminate into marriage. Because isn’t that what you work toward? Marriage? When you reach that finish line you have succeeded in proclaiming your love and after the wedding, everyone has witnessed it and that is the final straw that gives you permission to live… happily ever after… doesn’t it?
Except, we want you to know a few things… five to be precise… to help you along this journey.
One. When the honeymoon period ends, it doesn’t mean that the love has fizzled out.
One of the hardest moments in young love like ours was going from two kids in love to two adults thrown into a life of responsibility. Where you each are responsible for the other. Food, shelter, bills can sometimes take precedence over emotional support. What once used to be grand gestures of love, somewhere turns into everyday tasks. Don’t fret too much newlyweds, because one day it would dawn on you that being responsible for the welfare of the person you love is indeed a privilege.
Two. Living with each other is a constant dance.
And the moves keep changing. Learn that sometimes you will lead the dance and sometimes you will follow, sometimes you will trip, and sometimes there will be a dip. But you will have ample opportunities to twirl. Don’t forget that. Twirl, dance even though you’ve forgotten the dance moves, because in that silliness comes knowing that despite not dancing perfectly, you are creating art in the process.
Three. Even when you have nothing, you have everything.
There will be times in your life, newlyweds; that you will feel like nothing is working out. We urge you to see beyond that moment of struggle. We urge you to work together and realize that what you have been burdened with, you have the capacity to bare. Together.
Four. Small gestures done consistently, have more value than BIG grand gestures.
In the beginning, it seems the only way to show your partner that you love them is make grand proclamations of your love. Spend a ton of money, do all the things that they tell you to do to SHOW your partner you love them. But newlyweds, know that one day, that single cup of tea they make for you every night, while you sit on the couch, scrolling through your phone, is the single most consistent gesture that they love you.
Five. A love that grows through the changing seasons of life is worth protecting at all costs.
For those of you who married at a young age, it is possible to face struggles when your partner grows and evolves; into maybe someone you did not expect. The only constant in a relationship are the two in this bond. With time, everything changes. There is nothing more valuable than being able to support your partner through the changing seasons of their life. To be able to walk beside a person, you don’t entirely recognize this very moment, in favour of looking out into the distance with an open mind is some what of a gift. Because we all change. We all find that as we grow, we evolve, and in that evolution, should you still recognize the heart of your mate, protect that feeling.
Newlyweds, as time goes on, it is essential to want to reconnect, reaffirm and re-marry your partner as they, and you change and grow. You have to want it to work, and you have to consistently put in the work to want better for each other. In the end, if it is in your fate, your love, no matter how long you end up in each other’s lives; it will seem like it is all of your lifetime.
Because, let us tell you, newlyweds, ten years is a long time, yet doesn’t really seem like a lot… we know.
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